Marriage

It is typical in many Dominican families, especially in the poor communities, that the man and woman are not legally married. Most of the time a man and woman move in together, have children, and call themselves husband and wife, but they are not actually married. There are several reasons for this. One is simply that it is a cultural thing. Another is that the cost of marriage (and divorce) and fairly high. Thirdly, the esteem of marriage is not very high; adultery and separation are very common. It is pretty normal for a man or woman to have 5 children and they are all from a different spouse.

This is one of the cultural things that was hard for me to accept/understand when I got here. How can these 2 women in El Callejon have children from the same man and still be good friends? Or on the other extreme, how can this man and woman have 4 children together, have been faithful to each other for 20 years, and not be married?? I try to explain this to the students that come down, but it's just one of those cultural things that we can't really understand. This was especially challenging for a group of 3 American women that came down from a church in California in August. Through discussions and interactions with these women, we came up with the idea to legally marry some of the couples in El Callejon.

We first presented this idea to the Dominican women one day at Bible study in September. But because this is such a counter-cultural idea, a lot of the women just thought we were crazy. But after we got them excited about the idea of a wedding with cake and dresses and flowers, a handful of women started to consider the idea more seriously. We started to have weekly meetings with the couples where we would watch movies like Fireproof or have an outside speaker come in and give a sort of "pre-marital counseling." We continued this until December when we finalized it down to 3 couples. We have spent the last 2 weeks figuring out all the legal paperwork and details; figuring out food, cake, and decorations; and helping the women prepare by giving them facials and manicures.

On Thursday we had the formal ceremony. It was very simple. It was just outside of the Social Work site, but the couples came dressed to the nines and glowing with joy. One of the Students International leaders, Luis, gave a talk on marriage. We ate sancocho (a Dominican specialty). We had a beautifully decorated cake. It was wonderful!

















Our prayer is that God blesses the 3 couples. That they understand what God's will for marriage truly is. That this may be an example for other couples in the community to take this same step for their relationship.

We know that things like this that are so deeply ingrained in the culture we cannot change. Only God has that power. Please pray with us that God will change the culture's view on marriage.



On a totally separate note....we will be in Virginia Dec 19-Jan 16. We will be in Newport News most of the time and will be taking a short trip to Harrisonburg. We would love to see all of you, so let us know how we can make that happen!!

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

About 3 months ago a man from the community named "El Suave" had a motorcycle accident on his way to La Vega (a city about 30 min from where we live). Since then he has been in the hospital basically as a vegetable. Every once in a while he would show some emotion or move a body part giving his family hope. His wife Francia stayed faithfully by his side the entire time. But then last week he died. They brought his body up to El Callejon and passed the next few days doing visitations, the funeral, etc. The community has been in mourning all week.

Then today the Social Work site had a Christmas party for the women. We spent half of the time in prayer and worship, and the rest of the time giving gifts and eating. Every year we have a basket in which each woman brings a small food item (i.e. rice, onions, etc) and then we raffle the whole thing off to one of the women. Daisy (my co-leader) and I were talking the other day and had the idea that instead of raffling the basket we would give it to Francia. But we were really nervous about the reaction of the other women because knowing how they are, we knew that some would say that they also have a lot of needs and that Francia shouldn't be held in a higher regard than everyone else. So when we announced at the party today that we were giving the basket to Francia, the women burst out in joyful applause. I was so shocked and overjoyed that it brought me to tears. What a beautiful thing that a community that has so little was so willing to give generously to their widow neighbor.

Please pray for Francia and her children during this time. Pray that God will use this tragedy to bring glory to himself. Pray that this family will be strengthened and full of faith now more than ever.


Francia


Their daughter Rosana with a student


Their son Hidalgo

Scavenger Hunt

Hello everyone and Happy Halloween?? It doesn't much feel like Halloween here, but hopefully everyone back in the States is having a good time dressing up and preparing for trick-or-treaters.

This week was the first week with semester students. There are several students here from Bethel University in Indiana. They arrived in the DR in September, had language school for 6 weeks, did some traveling, and now they are split up into ministry sites until December. Ryan and I each have 2 students working with us, and to help them get to know the community better, and have a little competition between the 2 sites, we sent them on an El Callejon scavenger hunt. Here are the rules:

"You have 2 hours to complete as many of the tasks below as possible. In order to consider a task “complete” you must take a picture of the person, object, or action required. At least 1 member of your group must be in the picture in order for the picture to be considered valid. Each task has a corresponding point value. We will meet back at the social work site at 11:00am to review each picture together and determine the winner. Every minute you are late is minus 50 points. If you have any questions…you are on your own."

Each "task" was assigned a point value anywhere between 200-900. They ranged from things like "Tule flexing his arms" to "Holding a chicken." Unfortunately, the Social Work Site team's camera broke, so we were unable to judge correctly who won. So we decided to all share the prize of going out for pizza. Here are a few pictures from the Micro-finance site team.


Preaching at the pulpit of Paula's church: 500 pts


A Waterfall: 700 pts.


A Girl with Hannah Montana paraphernalia: 800 pts


A Giant Heart...300 pts


The other side of the wall...600 pts.


Touching a pregnant belly: 700 pts


Ani and a member of N*SYNC: 500 pts.

A Dominican Year

On Thursday we will have been in the Dominican Republic for exactly a year. We can't believe its flown by so fast. It's been a year of ups and downs, learning and growing, laughs and tears. Here are some of our favorite pictures from this last year (most of which were taken by students that are always capture the great moments on camera...thanks!!).


Francis and Nikaury. 2 Boys in Ryan's club on one of their 1st meetings.


Vanesa. I love this girl! She moved out of the community a few months ago and we really miss her:(


Caroline and Yeimi. Another of my favorites. This is one of the rare moments he actually had clothes on.


Ryan and the boys on the day that Hidalgo bought the bike.


Brandi, Becca, and Karlie as Peter, Jesus, and Judas. They were such great sports to dress up in heavy blankets...in June...in the Caribbean.


Angie, Yohana, Kelly, Joandre, and Yoemy playing in the rain!


Dancing at a quincienera party. I'm not sure why Kelly is making that face.


Caroline singing a song with beautiful Vanesa.


Caroline with Katy.


One of my favorites.



Franklin with stickers on his face.


Chloe afraid of the chicken foot we were served at dinner.


Anel farting with his armpit. I distinctly remember him saying "me voy a tirar peos en mi cama" (I'm going to go fart in my bed)

Our Trip to the States

Hey Everyone!

So we know it's been a while since we posted anything, but we do actually have an excuse. We recently went back to the States for a short 2 week trip. The purpose of the trip was to go to Ryan's brother's wedding in Vermont, but we also decided to spend a week before the wedding in Virginia. Though it was short, we both had an awesome time.

Caroline spent the first week catching up with old friends, shopping, going to a good friend's wedding in Richmond getting to have some quality d-funk time, eating American food, spending time with family, etc. Ryan spend the first few days with almost all of his JMU small group friends going to the beach, hanging out, eating delicious seafood. And the rest of the time in VA he spent with old friends and family. It was a great time for both of us to be able to see so many people we love...even though it was short lived.

Then the entire second week we spent in Vermont with Ryan's family. We had a beautiful cabin hidden in the mountains....it was maybe even a little too hidden, it took us at least 30 minutes to drive anywhere! But it was a great time. We played a lot of games, went bowling, went to the Ben and Jerry's factory, and so on. And the wedding was beautiful. It was outside and the weather was perfect. Kimberly and Ben both looked beautiful and so happy (and Ryan looked great too of course as a groomsman).


Ben and Kimberly Holloway


Ben and his groomsmen


The happy couple at Nicole's wedding.


D-funk....I love it.


Whitney Burkey and me


Me, Jenny, and Leah!

Bonzek Family Visit!

Last week Caroline's family came to visit and we had a wonderful time! We spent the first few days showing them around Jarabacoa (rafting, going to waterfalls, walking around El Callejon, and eating lots of good meals). Then the rest of the week we went to Puerto Plata and spent our time at a beach resort. It was so great to be able share our life with them, and also to relax and have fun. And now we get to see them again (and everyone else) when we come to the States next week. We will be in Newport News for a few days and then are heading up to Vermont for Ryan's brother's wedding. So let us know if you'll be in the area! Here are some pictures from the week...


Emily and Ryan walking around the rocks at the Upper Jimenoa falls

All of us at the Jamaca de Dios restaurant on the top of a mountain.


Eating dinner with Paula and her family in El Callejon.


Mom and Em getting ready to go snorkeling.


We celebrated my dad's birthday at the beach and we got to embarrass with a big sombrero, the Feliz Cumpleanos song, and cake.

Dajabon

We're winding down our summer here and it's been a great one. This past outreach I had 2 students. Aaron was a Korean businessman who is a senior manager with Chrysler, and Tasha just graduated high school. About as opposite as you can get as students go but we had a blast.

On the last day of the outreach we took a trip to Dajabon. Background necessary for this story:

• Dajabaon is a Dominican town on the border with Haiti.
• There is a Haitian market there every Monday and Friday. It works like this: Haitians receive donations and aid (like shoes, clothes, hats, shampoo, anything Michael Jackson) from the states and then carry it over the border to Dajabon. They can get a better price there than in Haiti and since they get the stuff for free they can sell it for almost nothing and make a good profit.
• A possible business opportunity for members of MiBanco La Victoria is to buy stuff dirt cheap in Dajabon and sell it in Jarabacoa.
• There is very intense racial tension between Dominicans and Haitians that is as older than either of the countries.
• Cock-a-doodle-do is kee-kirri-kee in Spanish. Dominicans think cock-a-doodle-do is ridiculous and terribly inaccurate.
  

The Story:

Aaron, Tasha, Me, Miriam, Nate, Sarah, Milagros, Paula, Ramona, Ani, Mercedes, LeoKadia, Claudio, 2 other Dominican men, and a Rooster packed into a tiny gua gua (mini 15 passenger van) and set off for Dajabon at 4:00 AM. I was hoping to sleep most of the way there but starting at 5:45 there was no sleep. "Kee-kirri-kee", "Kee-kirri-kee" sung the rooster, every minute for the next 2 hours. I never knew how loud a rooster's crow was until I heard it up close and personal. Non-stop. For 2 hours.

After a grueling half-paved 4 hour trip we arrived at the market. It was as crazy and chaotic as I thought it would be, however, it turns out the chaos was for a different reason. Earlier that morning a Haitian had killed a Dominican. He was immediately apprehended and the scene was cleared but we arrived amidst the racial aftermath. There were people fleeing from the center of the market because mobs of angry Dominicans, armed with bats, clubs, and chairs, searched through the market chasing away any Haitian in sight:



So, we didn't know what to do. We didn't want to leave after 4 hours in a Gua Gua, but all the cheap stuff-selling Haitian women were fleeing for their lives. We decided to "go in pursuit" as the Holloway family used to say, meaning you inexplicably follow the criminal to try and see some action ( I remember when I was 6 and this led to me seeing a guy get chased under his car by some firearm brandishing cops at a gas station). So we did a few strolls around the leftover market until we encountered the angry mob again. This time they seemed to be moving a little faster than the first, and we quickly discovered that was because they were being chased by the Dominican army toting M16s:



Eventually things began to calm down and a few brave Haitian women began selling again:



It never filled back out all the way to what it is on a normal day but we were still able to hunt for some bargains. It was a crazy day and a great experience for me and my students. Here are a couple more group shots:


MiBanco La Victoria and my students at the central park in Dajabon


Me, Aaron, Tasha, Nate at the Dajabon market

Cabinets and Boys

Well, here we are in mid-July already. We've been here 9 months and have only 2 more summer outreaches left. Caroline's family will be here in less than a month, and we will be back in the States for a short trip at the end of August. Hence, we have a lot going on and a lot to look forward to.

The past 2 weeks we had teams here from New York, California, and Nebraska. I (Caroline) had 3 girls at my site. We had a great 2 weeks, and on the last day, we gave them the project to paint the cabinets in the Social Work site. It was a great activity for them, because not only did it make the site much more aesthetically pleasing, but they also were able to make a visible and tangible change to the community that will be around for several years. Fortunately for us, all 3 of the students have artistic talents that they used writing encouraging words and making designs.

Before


After

I was also able to sneak into one of the boys' Microfinance club meetings. Everything with the club has been going great so far. The mothers are commenting that they've never seen their sons work so hard. The community is slowly but surely becoming cleaner. None of them have cashed in their Ryan dollars yet (though most of them have saved enough to buy a ball). They are trying to hold out for the bicycle. But most importantly, the boys finally have a positive Christian male role model to look up to. Enjoy some of these pictures I took...

Some of the boys writing down the Bible verse for the week...John 3:16


Francis and Nickaury. Francis is the oldest of the group so Ryan selected him to be his assistant.


Mikael is known in the community as one who does not like to work. But amazingly enough, he's the one who is the most excited and is working the hardest out of anyone in the group! We're so excited to see what is to come of this new ministry.